I sold my microwave and blender today. That felt pretty good. A first step in the right direction. I have two people coming to take a look at my car today and one tomorrow. The one tomorrow seems pretty solid. I had a full on conversation with her on the phone today with her almost begging me not to sell it until she gets down here tomorrow afternoon from Santa Cruz. I am feeling like with this many people interested in it, I might actually get my asking price, which would be the best thing ever! I am feeling pretty lucky in life right now, so it might just happen. Also have people coming over to look at the TV, TV cabinet and bookcase today. Mandy is still thinking about buying the couch from me, so that's on hold for a moment.
OK, enough with the boring stuff... I find it so cute that my friends are trying to set me up (in the friend way, not on dates) with their friends. Everyone knows someone that I should meet or say hello to. It is so nice to know that people I care so much about here have people they care about out there too, maybe I will make some great new friends this way. Maybe not, but either way, I like the sentiment.
Each day since the sadness that occurred on Thursday night has been a little bit brighter. I think that it is important for me to take this journey alone. It is what's best for both of us, really. I will miss him so much, already do. Hope he misses me too. Trying to make the situation better and show him that I see that this is a good thing so that we may be able to be friends. Losing him isn't just losing my boyfriend, but best friend. My constant source of laughter, he always knew how to ease my tension and curtail my craziness. His acceptance of my flaws, words of wisdom, these are the things I will/already miss the most. This too shall pass if I let it, but I hope I don't have to. Is it possible to really remain friends with someone you loved with all your heart after you're not allowed to anymore?
As is evident, my mind wonders to him and us often. It's happy memories I flash on most though. Our first year of unfolding each others' mysteries. Things that will always remind me of him: tent igloos, bugs, boogles, beach days, Kermit the frog vocals, turkey gobbles, 5-dollar footlongs, snowboard dancing, elbow skin, toffee ice cream, monday movie nights, CCC (more specifically broccoli pasta salad), shadow puppets, and definitely motorboats, plus so many more things I know I am forgetting! OK, some of these are really obscure, but he'd understand and even though he'll probably never read this, it still means something. Nearly two years worth of joy worthy of remembrance.
It makes me happier almost that I can sit here hashing out all these wonderful times together and smile instead of cry. Which, if you know me, and I am sure if you're reading this you know me better than almost anyone else, know that I need almost no reason to cry, so this is big.
So today, I will post a couple pictures. A momentary glimpse into our lives together and how I will always remember us. Also a vow to myself that I will take this strength and run with it. Keep it together and embrace happiness.
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