The beginning before the beginning

So this is it. The start of something new. Or, I guess, the start of something new is the blog at this point, since the move is still 12 days away. Nonetheless, the pressure is on. I feel the heat.

I am not sure if I have ever had this set of emotions all rolled into one before...
Entering into the great unknown. New job, new city, new friends, new singledom (if that's a word), new life really. I have dreamed about this for so long always imagining that I would be too chicken shit to actually go through with it. And here I am. Sending deposit in for a new apartment, celebrating with friends I will miss so much, kissing my crying parents good night as if it's already good-bye, but what a great adventure I am about to embark on. Not sure if anyone thought that I could do it. Me included.

This has truly been a whirlwind already and I haven't even gotten to the craziest part of it all. Stay tuned for that, I say. This is going to be a roller coaster for sure. One more week of work. Nine days until I move out of my apartment. 12 days until I board the airplane with a one way ticket to JFK.

I believe that this is going to be an unbelievable journey of self-discovery. Definitely looking forward to being the most independent I have ever been. It has already started.

You know how you're supposed to wake up on the morning of your birthday and feel different? Feel older somehow, wiser? It never really happens like that. You step into the same life as the day before and it's never as shiny and new as you want it to be. This is nothing like that. From the moment I accepted this job ten days ago, life has changed. My outlook, my relationships, my priorities, my emotions. It's invigorating. There is sadness, hope, excitement, anxiety. So many I can't even remember unless it's the one I am feeling right now, which is why I am starting this record. To remember the moments that happen to me. To look back and always see how far I've come, where I came from and what I've done.

I not sure if anyone will ever read this. There are times I certainly hope no one is going to be reading. Maybe it is best to learn from the start that there are definitely feelings that you don't need to send out into cyberspace for the world to see, worse yet, people who actually know you. But then again, I do hope there are some people out there who want to take this trip with me.

Anyway, signing off for the first time.

Jem