Anyway, I had an absolutely fabulous time with Elana and Ashley on our trip to my homeland. Our days consisted of sunbathing in Topanga, drinking in Hermosa Beach and shopping in Santa Monica. We ate like kings (or maybe queens in our cases) and laughed hysterically at one another. If I am any good at reading other people - which usually I am not, but for arguments sake we'll say I am right now - I'd say that my lovely friends had a wonderful time as well.
A few things did not occur as planned, which we all knew would happen. Unfortunately, dinner in Venice with Mandy and friends didn't end up working out, but we did make it to Culver City to meet up with Evan and his cute new girlfriend, Zach and Hayley and even some of Elana's friends. Against everyone's advice, we ended up spending some time with Brandon. We met up with his buddies and some of my girl friends at Sharkeez in Hermosa (how could I not) and it was a great time. It makes me really happy that we could all hang out together even though things aren't the same and still have fun like old times. There were a few things that made me feel a little weird...
... like push-ups in boxers on top of me outside the bar...
But, then again, I kind of liked it too. HAHA. Truth or dare, that was an interesting choice as well, but again, no regrets at all, had a great time. Can't wait to potentially get the chance to do it again over Labor Day weekend!
There is something quite strange about going to LA these days though. Knowing what life would have been if I stayed, knowing the life I have here now and how much I love it, knowing that no matter what, I will be here until October 2011. Wow, it even feels awkward to put it down on paper. It's like it didn't even occur to me that I signed on the dotted line for a new apartment a couple of weeks ago until just now! The choice is a good one though. I am so happy here in so many ways. My New York family constantly reminds me how lucky I am to have found them and how good I have it here.
When you look back at the decisions you made throughout the years, do you ever wish you could change them? This takes me into a whole line of thought I wasn't planning on going down tonight, but I can't help but wonder. I can't help but think how different things would be if I stayed there instead of here, if I zigged when others zagged, if I found out about certain indiscretions sooner. Where would I be? Or maybe the better question is who would I be? Would I be the same person? I think that so many of the moments I have experienced in my life thus far has shaped the person(ality) I am today. Some of those experiences were excruciating, things I don't wish upon my worst enemies. Some were wondrous episodes that I would love to live over and over again. This is all so existential and silly, but this weekend got me thinking about the people I around me and those who have drifted. Don't you always wonder, what if I had done things differently? What if this, what if that? I know you can't go through life this way, always wondering. Hypothetical situations aside, there are a few people in my life and a few incidents I have gone through in the past year, that I don't think would have played out much differently regardless. The only thing most up for debate is how long I convince myself things are OK and that living each day in the current state of affairs is a reasonable option.
Moving on, I wanted to share a few pictures of the beautiful moments the girls and I shared this weekend. Enjoy!
Yes, you are right. We are each the sum total of our life's experiences. And those experiences write a story on our faces. Wishing you many happy days, dear child, to counterbalance the kind that etch in frowns and worry lines. But you'd never recognize the ups if not for the downs. And each twist is a lesson on what to avoid next time. Love you. See you very soon.
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